I'm Like Okra

The constant comings and goings in Chiang Mai give one opportunity for reflective pause on how one says 'hello' and 'goodbye.' You may have already read my post on goodbyes, this is the post where I explain how I am similar to a vegetable. Stick with me here...

My boss has heard a theory that if you try a food 6 times in a short stretch of time you will come to love it. I've often mused that I am an acquired taste. In new or unfamiliar surroundings I don't usually give the best impression. Usually I say something snarky (not cute snarky, just inappropriate snarky), or offensive, or just rude. In my head I want to be warm, inviting, and put the other person at ease, but the nasty monster of anxiety keeps rearing its ugly head. 

Probably 90% of people don't like okra. But to the other 10% it's either naturally delightful or at least it grows on them. The friends who stick it out with me through the awkward, gangely stage (which in Thailand lasted until about 3 months ago) end up being enduring, loyal, and true friends.

Michelle* naturally loves okra and frequently cooks it. She's pretty naturally full of love for everyone. Becca* and Deb* get into stitches over my stories, despite my narrow and biased knowledge of Greenland*. Mary*, who is about the most honest and sweet person I know, will patiently hear me out on any subject. Jessie* lets me sit and talk for hours and shows a supportiveness for my hobbies that rivals my mom's.

These and many others. I am truly blessed to have such wonderful friends; people who not only support me but allow me to support them; people who push me to strive for Truth and Virtue above anything else, and certainly above myself.

Want some?

*All names of people and countries have been changed to protect the identity of those involved. They might love okra, but they probably wouldn't be thrilled if okra posted a million pictures of Julius the Monkey on Facebook and then tagged them. This blog post is kind of like that.

One Year Later

I have been in Thailand 1 year and 4 days. 

I look forward to many more days and years in my beautiful host country.

The day after I arrived last year I had my introduction to the nursing dorm in a fun and interesting ceremony. You can see the pictures on, I'm pretty sure, my first post for this blog.

A year has passed and we just had the same ceremony. This Thai festival originates in the idea that each person has many souls, or spirits, and when you move you have to invite your spirits to your new house. We use it as a welcome party and a time for the teachers to bless the new students. It starts with the students doing a giant 'London Bridge' style game with their schoolmates and teachers. Then there is a traditional Thai family style meal then plays and dances by the students. They were still partying hard when I left at about 11 PM.

I love these moments of spending time with all of my wonderful new friends.

The Dean of Nursing and other teachers.

Kanchanaburi and the Death Railway

I spent last weekend in Kanchanaburi, a little town 3 hours west of Bangkok and well known for the infamous Death Railroad. Remember the old movie, Bridge Over The River Kwai? Although the movie is mostly fiction (a British officer would never have endorsed or helped the building and engineering of the railroad, and in fact the POWs did everything in their power to sabotage the railroad, like plant termites in the wood, etc.), the building of the Death Railway is a sad fact.

In 1942, after the successful conquest of Singapore (which was invaded on bicycles, no less!), Japan set their sights on Burma. For this purpose they used Allied POWs (largely from Singapore) and 'hired' workers from Malaysia, Burma, Indonesia, and other nearby countries. The conditions for both the POWs and these 'hired' worker were pretty horrendous. Actually the area around the Kwai Bridge was one of the better sights because of fresh water, but many of the camps were overcrowded, without proper water, food, or hygiene, and death tolls were very high. POWs were often guarded by Korean soldiers who were treated poorly by their Japanese superiors, and likewise handed that cruelty down to the workers. The construction (258 miles through mountains) was originally estimated to take several years, but because of deadlines was completed in a little over a year. This monumental task was accomplished by backbreaking work and long hours by undernourished and sick men.

After the war the Allies moved all the POW graves to a few central graveyards. There is a lot of information about the POWs due to record keeping both of the Japanese and the POWs themselves. Not so with the Asian workers. Estimates are that 90,000 Asian workers died during the construction, but there aren't identifiable graves for these men, and so they are spread out across the jungles of Thailand and Burma.

Even in the midst of reading heart wrenching stories of depravity and cruelty, there were also stories of the greatest hope, courage and compassion imaginable, not only amongst the POWs but from the Thai villagers nearby, Thai businessmen from Bangkok who went to great personal risk to alleviate the suffering of workers, and Japanese officers who tried, in little ways, to aide the men.

The River Kwai

The Bridge (Allied forces destroyed the middle section in 1944, but this bit is original)

On our way to Kanchanaburi we spent the day in Bangkok and hung out at this awesome temple with a great view of the river and city.

In the Village

It's always a great treat to get out of town and enjoy the countryside. In Thailand that means muddy paths, pigs everywhere, squatty potties, and lots of food (fish or pork on rice. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner).

I have two dear friends who live in a rural village. They speak almost no English, and I speak even less Karen, so we settle on Thai, which is comfortable for them (being the language of public schools and official work) but is still quite laborious for me. Nonetheless, it is delightful and relaxing to spend a few days in a quieter life.

Chen, the husband, told me this trip that he is worried that the village isn't as comfortable as the USA or as Chiang Mai, and he wants to be a good host. I assured him that, although the village doesn't have internet, cell phone access, or cable TV, I find those things a distraction from the meaningful relationships that we have time to cultivate when we are away from those 'luxuries.' I would much prefer to spend my evening sitting around the cooking fire with my friends and all their neighbors and relatives who've come by to visit. And the lack of indoor pluming or hot water? The thick layer of mud on shoes and pant cuffs? Well, you just have to get used to that.

This is an old style Thai house. The family lives in a newer house next door, but all the cooking and hanging out happens in this house.

Pi Pi (Grandma) and my friend's daughter.

Cooking house/living room. Would you like some lung cancer with your fish and rice?

Chen in the family cabbage garden.

Khun Tan National Forest

Khun Tan is a national park about an hour drive from Chiang Mai (3 hours by train. If you're curious). It's a beautiful, jungle paradise that, by some amazing circumstance, Payap owns property in. That's right, we have a camp with cabins, a kitchen, sort of a pool (sort of a slime bath, though) at the top of a mountain in the middle of a national forest. That means no neighbors, no foot traffic, and someone else empties the garbage cans. It's beautiful. I spent last weekend by myself at the cabins reading, philosophizing, and enjoying nature. I don't think I've ever, in my life, not seen another human being for 24 hours. It was a grand adventure.

The aforementioned train ride.

I didn't know a place could be as beautiful as Thailand before I saw Thailand. This is my view from the train.

Made it to the bottom of the mountain. Now to get to the top...

When you travel around Thailand you have to be very wary of decaged edges. The second you take those edges out of their cages they just go WILD!

It's about a 3 hour hike from the train station to the cabins.

But I arrived!

Why does one hike to the top of the mountain for a weekend alone? The view.

[Caterpillar] Puppy pile!

I wasn't the only one hiking the mountain...

I'll save the fruits of my philosophizing for later, but it involved reading some Cicero, Plato, and the Gospel of Luke, with lots of thoughts on friendship and human interactions. 

More Thai ceremonies

One of the coolest things about my job is getting to experience Thai culture. Not only do I get to live in the dorm with 530 Thai students (and no other foreigners), but I get to go to interesting ceremonies and parties all the time.

In Thailand it is very important to go to funerals. It doesn't matter if I don't know the person who died. I probably don't even know the relative of the person who died. But the relative works in the nursing faculty, so I'd better clear my schedule for the funeral. I've been to several such funerals this year, but this week was my first Buddhist funeral.

Here's how the day went down -

3:00 AM - Wake up to feed winy puppies (I'm puppy-sitting 2 week olds)
6:00 - Wake up again to feed puppies
6:20 - Finish Chapel prep
7:00 - Pick up co-worker to lead Chapel
7:30 - A little singin', maybe some dancing, the morning has been chapeled!
8:00 - Aj. Rujira, the 60 + year old dorm supervisor and former Dean of Nursing is curious about the High 5ing I had  the students doing in said Chapel, so I give her a crash course on the culture, significance, and proper technique of a High 5, including alternate versions and practical experience.
8:05 - My dorm staff clarifies that I'm going to change out of the bright teal shirt I'm wearing before the funeral. "You wear black?" We confirm our departure time.
10:00 - Meet with Aj. Rujira and other dorm peeps to drive to the village for the funeral.

  When we arrived there were monks chanting. It was outside in the family's yard with folding chairs up under tarp tents (it was also, incidentally, raining). We politely sat as I enjoyed the stares and giggles from the Thais around. Monks chant. And continue to chant. Have you ever heard a monk chant for an hour? It all starts to sound the same after the first 5 minutes. A couple of times he had a nice, deep, drawn out syllable with a rich vibrato. I thought that it was stylized chanting until my co-workers started giggling and I realized that he was clearing his throat.

  There were beautiful flowers from the community and the family played gracious hosts. I watched Aj. Rujira for cultural cues of when to wai and what to do. After the chanting a bunch of tables were brought out and we moved our chairs around them. A delicious meal was served of rice, meat, and water, and we enjoyed socializing and explaining to everyone around why a falang (foreigner) was at the funeral.

  Before we left I was given a nice party favor of a notebook and pen with a picture of the dearly deceased on the cover. I'm open to suggestions of what I might use that for. I also discovered that this wasn't the funeral. Apparently this was some kind of pre-funeral chanting ceremony and they were all leaving for the real funeral, but we had to go home to finish our work day.

  Stay tuned for next week's Thai Ceremony - Wai Crew, where the students crawl on their knees to give flowers to the Ajaans. It's like Teacher Appreciation Day mixed with a flower arranging competition and with more bowing.

In case all of that funeral talk made you sad, here's a picture of me with a puppy!

My Global Family

I think it is a common experience to find instant close friends when you work overseas. My Thai friends stand beside me with strong support as I learn about their home. Nearly all of my foreign friends are far from their families, and so we become like family to each other. Added is the galvanization of shared passions and convictions. 

In Thailand you use the words P' and Nong ('older brother/sister' and 'younger brother/sister') in many situations, from friends to coworkers to waitresses or waiters. I have many siblings.

It is also true that Chiang Mai is notorious for it's revolving door. People come and go frequently.

4 little sisters left last week. My heart is encouraged by their drawings that I've hung by my desk. I am touched to read, "I will miss you Katie." I miss you too, little one. I worry about your adjustment to America. I  am praying for you all.

A dear, dear friend is here for the weekend after moving several hours away. It felt so natural to see her walk into The Nest tonight. I almost forgot the geographic distance between us.

My first friends in Chiang Mai (Facebook friends before I even arrived) will leave next week. I will miss their wisdom. I will miss heartfelt conversations with her. I will miss laughing when he jokes, and gleaning wisdom when he is serious.

This afternoon my big sister and brother left for 2 months in America, as many friends have for this season. Maybe it won't seem long from the other end, but from here it seems an eternity without the love and support of my dear sister.

And now the one that makes me cry; I don't know how to envision life without my two little sisters. I haven't lived here without them. Will The Nest feel like home without them? Will Thailand feel like home without them? I can never treasure enough the time I have had with my sisters, the shared movies, meals, homework, school dance prep, markets, cooking, sports, and all the rest. They have grown into my heart and given me a bigger capacity to love. For the first time in my life I have had younger siblings, and what a blessing it has been. God is good to give me such amazing girls for my family. I will look at grad schools in southern California.

We talk about it all the time. It's as much a part of our lives as breathing or paying our bills at 7-11. Saying 'goodbye' is really, really hard. But, as I read in a fellow Chiang Mai-ian's blog recently, "the relationship is ALWAYS worth the goodbye."

I am blessed. My family is ever growing, and ever spreading out in the world. My family is global.